MM.
In stepping into the midst of a brave new chapter within my life, it only seemed fitting that a journal should be created as catalyst to see me through this.
So as this new chapter unfolds I find many new things in particular occurring: graduation, lack of faith, as well as a very interesting girl named MM. I've always made it a point to never use full names within my online journal entries. MM. The type of girl that shows up in the midst of your midlife crisis only to have you question what you've known that much further. The type of girl that all known logic would advise against, the type that sane man looking towards the future would adamantly avoid - though unfortunately those words don't seem to apply to me.
So who is she? She is the type of girl you don’t take home to mother. Remember all those interesting concepts that mother used to say concerning "dirty girls", or even all of those qualities that would illicit an "immoral woman?" MM fits the bill perfectly. She is the buoyant type that you see yourself making a tragic mistake with, the type that you just cant seem to shake once they enter your mind - and she is rather interested in me. I should qualify, as interested as a type of girl like that gets - the weekly feed, the hunger that she has to quench.
So enter the dilemma. As I’ve stated before a man looking towards the future would certainly stay away from her - though I stopped believing in the future a long time ago. And her allure is quite intriguing, though I would not classify it as sexually tempting. I constantly find myself looking towards her and asking myself the question, "She goes against all that I’ve known, and yet there she is?" I find it similar to the peer who first offers you the cigarette only to have you finding it so vile, so revolting, that you absolutely must have it. It’s not quite the same way, though it does compare in that:
“When a man’s mind is left to it’s own devices, it finds itself at the doors of destruction.”
So here I am, allowing my mind to wonder towards all that I’ve been taught to stay away, but in the end isn’t that how it always ends? The fall of man, Pandora’s box, the tragic mistake that everyone makes that ultimately leads to their own apocalypse...
...but as for right now, I'm just living in the prelude.
So as this new chapter unfolds I find many new things in particular occurring: graduation, lack of faith, as well as a very interesting girl named MM. I've always made it a point to never use full names within my online journal entries. MM. The type of girl that shows up in the midst of your midlife crisis only to have you question what you've known that much further. The type of girl that all known logic would advise against, the type that sane man looking towards the future would adamantly avoid - though unfortunately those words don't seem to apply to me.
So who is she? She is the type of girl you don’t take home to mother. Remember all those interesting concepts that mother used to say concerning "dirty girls", or even all of those qualities that would illicit an "immoral woman?" MM fits the bill perfectly. She is the buoyant type that you see yourself making a tragic mistake with, the type that you just cant seem to shake once they enter your mind - and she is rather interested in me. I should qualify, as interested as a type of girl like that gets - the weekly feed, the hunger that she has to quench.
So enter the dilemma. As I’ve stated before a man looking towards the future would certainly stay away from her - though I stopped believing in the future a long time ago. And her allure is quite intriguing, though I would not classify it as sexually tempting. I constantly find myself looking towards her and asking myself the question, "She goes against all that I’ve known, and yet there she is?" I find it similar to the peer who first offers you the cigarette only to have you finding it so vile, so revolting, that you absolutely must have it. It’s not quite the same way, though it does compare in that:
“When a man’s mind is left to it’s own devices, it finds itself at the doors of destruction.”
So here I am, allowing my mind to wonder towards all that I’ve been taught to stay away, but in the end isn’t that how it always ends? The fall of man, Pandora’s box, the tragic mistake that everyone makes that ultimately leads to their own apocalypse...
...but as for right now, I'm just living in the prelude.
Labels: MM
posted by Narratethis at 3:17 PM
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