Where do I go from here?
He goes into the apparel store defeated, eyes cast down upon the ground as he makes his way to the sale counter by following the gridlines of the tile. Waiting for the bubbly cashier - that feels the need to make small talk with every customer she checks out - the man stands silently awaiting his turn as the cashier slowly and ever so methodically rings out the five customers ahead of him.
Finally, with a turn of her head and a flutter of her beautiful brunette hair she asks, "May I help you?" with the smile that would ease the most disenfranchised of hearts, though not this one.
The man calmly lifts his downtrodden head and replies, "Yes, do you sell the shirt that reads, ‘I fell in love with a girl and all I got was this lousy 500$ cell phone bill?”
--
Though it hasn't happened, I can foresee the events that will lead to Ashley casually waving goodbye and walking out the door, leaving me with that cold sensation that my mind so ardently avoids at all costs. I must say, with her walking out she not only takes away my hopes but she takes away my emotions as well, taking away all that I care about with each step she makes - dragging with her my will as it silently gets up and leaves me.
What does a man do? I asked Bn today what I do, where do I go from here? I wanted to state that I’m picking up and leaving, that I’m moving on, that my life in [Town] has ended as there is absolutely nothing left for me - I’ve exhausted everything, and like an obedient virus once I consume all there is to consume I get up and move on. I merely want to get in the car and drive east – just as the condemned men do, always to the east. Eventually I will hit the beach, and at that point, I will just sit upon the sand, crack open a beer, and cry the day away while I stare into the overbearing impersonal ocean that is never impacted by the actions or thoughts of man.
That’s what I thought, but what I felt was completely different. Without going too far into it, I must say the idea of not having to face the day was particularly interesting as the idea of her walking out leaves me with a sense of complete abandonment, similar to the scene in which the man stands outside of a house on Christmas Eve looking in at the occupants feasting upon their Christmas dinner while he spends his days with the cold elements of nature – the snow, the dead trees, the decaying leaves are his companions. I must say, I refuse to admit those as my companions, and that is what makes the decision so difficult.
On the one hand is Ashley, on the other is the long winding road of solitude that I am tremendously tired of wondering – so tired that I refuse to go back to such a road – REFUSE.
Thanks for listening…
Finally, with a turn of her head and a flutter of her beautiful brunette hair she asks, "May I help you?" with the smile that would ease the most disenfranchised of hearts, though not this one.
The man calmly lifts his downtrodden head and replies, "Yes, do you sell the shirt that reads, ‘I fell in love with a girl and all I got was this lousy 500$ cell phone bill?”
--
Though it hasn't happened, I can foresee the events that will lead to Ashley casually waving goodbye and walking out the door, leaving me with that cold sensation that my mind so ardently avoids at all costs. I must say, with her walking out she not only takes away my hopes but she takes away my emotions as well, taking away all that I care about with each step she makes - dragging with her my will as it silently gets up and leaves me.
What does a man do? I asked Bn today what I do, where do I go from here? I wanted to state that I’m picking up and leaving, that I’m moving on, that my life in [Town] has ended as there is absolutely nothing left for me - I’ve exhausted everything, and like an obedient virus once I consume all there is to consume I get up and move on. I merely want to get in the car and drive east – just as the condemned men do, always to the east. Eventually I will hit the beach, and at that point, I will just sit upon the sand, crack open a beer, and cry the day away while I stare into the overbearing impersonal ocean that is never impacted by the actions or thoughts of man.
That’s what I thought, but what I felt was completely different. Without going too far into it, I must say the idea of not having to face the day was particularly interesting as the idea of her walking out leaves me with a sense of complete abandonment, similar to the scene in which the man stands outside of a house on Christmas Eve looking in at the occupants feasting upon their Christmas dinner while he spends his days with the cold elements of nature – the snow, the dead trees, the decaying leaves are his companions. I must say, I refuse to admit those as my companions, and that is what makes the decision so difficult.
On the one hand is Ashley, on the other is the long winding road of solitude that I am tremendously tired of wondering – so tired that I refuse to go back to such a road – REFUSE.
Thanks for listening…
posted by Narratethis at 2:56 PM
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